DEALING WITH A HATER 101
9:03 PM"There will be haters, doubters, non-believers, and then there will be YOU, proving them wrong."
Life isn't all rainbows and butterflies. No matter how you try to keep all the good energy and good vibes in the world, there will always be people who like to rain on your parade. I guess we all have our share of negative people. It's inevitable, it's part of life so let's deal with it. I had my experience of one recently and it's sad to say that this will always be the most disappointing and heart-breaking.
It sucks when the person you thought would support and love you would sometimes be same person who would destroy you. In this blog, I am not gonna go through every detail of what happened but I do would like to consider this as a post of empowerment to all who have been victims of the so-called "haters".
It sucks when the person you thought would support and love you would sometimes be same person who would destroy you. In this blog, I am not gonna go through every detail of what happened but I do would like to consider this as a post of empowerment to all who have been victims of the so-called "haters".
So, by quotes all over social media, here are some of their definitions:
1. They don't really hate you. In fact, they hate themselves because you're a reflection of what they wish to be.
2. They don't like you but they will be checking your page religiously.
3. People who secretly wish to be you
4. Haters aka Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success
5. People who are intimidated by you who talk bad about you in hopes that others won't find you so appealing
And the list goes on...
Here's a simple realization. It doesn't really matter who or what they are. The bottom line of all the definitions this world could ever give about them is that they can never be happy with their own lives. YOU are happy. Do not give them the satisfaction of seeing that they have ruined you, that you have become one of them.
I hate to admit it but I actually made "patol" with the recent one over the most petty reasons. And yup, you got that right, a pretty bad move for me especially when your hater is a type who loves to play the victim and likes to twist the story of how he/she has been bullied when he/she started everything in the first place. You end up being the bad person for defending yourself and for standing up for yourself. We all have a boiling point. We all have our moments where our calm strings break and give in to the anger. That is why I've decided to write this down. Not only it is for me but to people whose patience has also been tested by people who seem to never give you a break.
I respect that we all have different personalities when it comes to dealing with these type of people. So, I've listed down a few things to calm yo tits and to think twice before unleashing the beast in you. Here are a list of the types of things why haters would love to throw shade at you and these are also opinions from people who have undergone the same situations:
1. When you are making your dreams happen
Who else can relate to this? We all have goals, we all struggle and work to get them. When we achieve them, we all deserve a pat on the back for the job well done. We become grateful, people applaud us and tell us how proud they are of us. THAT'S WHERE THEY COME. I think it's sad that some people can never be truly happy for you. It's seldom that people genuinely congratulate you when you achieve something. The world has somehow become a race for everybody. When they know you are at the top, they find ways to drag you down. They look for your weaknesses and throw them against you.
How to deal: Keep doing what you do. Do not mind these type of people. I know it's easier said than done but you have to keep in mind that their only goal is to tear your spirits down. Just keep swimming, says Dory. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, says Eleanor. They cannot handle the fact that you are making waves with your passion to succeed.
2. When you are just being yourself
People love to be with you because you are fun, friendly and down-to-earth. In this world, we have to learn to accept that no matter how nice you are, some people will always have something bad to say about you. So, you might as well be yourself, right? A friend told me that when they hate you for no reason, psychologically speaking, they actually just hate themselves because they are NOT you. Whatever the reason may be, as long as you are not doing anything to hurt others, then you're okay.
How to deal: Again, you continue being you. Stay away from negative energy. I've always believed in the saying that the people you're with will become you. Find people who bring out the light in you. Find people who accept you for who you are and will not judge you based on your imperfections. Oh and think about this, how awesome it is that just by being your awesome self, you've made someone so affected of you? YOU ARE THAT POWERFUL.
3. When life hits you hard
I think this is the part where they LOVE the most. When you are at the bottom, when you are feeling low, when you are having your share of failures, that's where they rejoice. Let me tell you this, if you've never known failure, then you'll never know success and progress. Take pride in your failures. God has given them to you for a reason and I believe that reason is to make you stronger and to make you grow as a person. Don't ever forget that. Don't let the opinion of ONE person affect your whole perspective of life.
How to deal: Try again. Though again, it's easier said than done, we all have to find the courage to accept that no one is perfect and that one way or another, life is gonna kick us so bad. We just have to stand up and try again. These haters know nothing. Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary journey.
Again, the list goes on. I don't want to dwell more on these people. All is said and done. The world can judge. You know yourself better and the people who love you do too. That's why I'm thankful for the gift of supportive family and friends too. They know you too well that you don't have to explain yourself. Be with these kind of friends. Be around good energy. When you are truly happy, you know they will never win. You are still here and you are surviving.
Last thing and also the most important, say a prayer every time. When you think it's all too much for you to handle, remember to pay more attention to your Creator than your critics. Ask God to calm you down and remind yourself who you are. You are not defined by what these people say or what your failures or imperfections say. You are how you choose to overcome them. I am dealing with the same hater for three years now and I do sincerely hope that he/she will try to live a peaceful life too.
To those who are dealing with the same type of person, you are not alone. You can always talk to me! Message me and I'd be glad to listen. Thank you for reading my long post, if you did. Haha.
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